Horwich shopping

Now I wont tart this up. I'll tell it as it is. Horwich has the worst array of shops you can ever imaging. It's like time has passed... and nothings changed.

You're more likely to see a "2nd hand book shop come laundrette" than a H&M. There are also loads of them old fashioned "Hardware Stores" that you now only see in old American movies.

Not all shops are so crap though. Leigh Lane has brought along some all time classics such as "Games, Frames and Arrows" and J's barber shop, when he's open.

I think the best shop in central Horwich is the Ski Shop. Now this has always puzzled me, but come on! A ski shop in Horwich?! Where the hell is anyone going to ski round there? More to the point, who can afford it?! It's like sticking a Harrods in the first town the tsunami hit. Jeeeez. Anyway, good luck to Mr Skishop.

Central Horwich

The center of Horwich actually only consists of 2 roads: Winter Hey Lane and Leigh Lane.
These roads are joined together by the narrowest corner known to man. If you have ever been stood at the end of Winter Hey Lane going to cross to M&Ms on the other side of Leigh Lane and a lorry has turned in you will have no doubt had a close shave. Each long vehicle that turns in here does so by taking over most of the pavement in order to avoid other cars at the lights. Dear, dear.. they must have thought that one up one sloshed Sunday afternoon in the RMI!

Horwich boundries

Horwich has a beer gut. It's true - look on a map and join these roads.... Chorley New Road is it's back bone, with the Old Road as it's belly. It's head around Winter Hey Lane.... which would make it's bollocks just around Johnson Fold :)

Really, if you want to know where anything is in Horwich you do it by the local landmarks... the pubs! The main markers of Horwich are the Beehive hotel/pub/whatever they call it now-a-days and the Crown. Between these two pubs there is about a 2 mile stretch of Chorley New Road, as well as "central Horwich". In total there are about 25 pubs, 3 banks, and 1 run-down post office. We'll touch on these pubs later… for now, we just wanted to set the scene.

Horwich RMI

The old railway mans club is typical of Horwich. This place is actually a good venue for a party... home to the world famous Pennine Suite. But it's run by a load of old blokes that are clutching to the last threads of power they have by running the place like a set of school girls.
Saturday night are show nights and always attract the faithful. Come thunder, earth quakes and flood, the old faithfuls will make it to the club on a Saturday just to make sure no one pinches their seat. Most of them have had their seats for over 130years and it would be a matter of the highest committee urgency if one was so silly to to sit in Doris' seat, of Fred's from number 39. Or Old Vera with one eye. Doesn't matter that most of them can't even see without double glazed specs, its a well known rule - never sit down, or the evil eyes will be upon you...!
Not many people know this, but some of the old folk remain forever with their seats... having their urn placed under it after they die.

Famous people

Before ripping Horwich too much, we must remember that it is only a small part of the larger toilet bowl that it Bolton. But! Even though the average Boltoner has buck teeth and a "step" hair-cut, there have been some rather famous people from there:

• Peter Kay
• Vernon Kay... no relation
• Sara Cox
• Amir Khan
• Nat Lofthouse
• Paul Nicholls
• Sir Ian McKellan
  
• Lord Leverhulme
• Fred Dibnah
• Ronnie Iranie
• Henry Warburton
• Joseph William Foster
• Michael Bolton... just joking!

Now this brings me onto another one of Bolton's problems... insest. What that's outragious! I hear you say. Well tough, I'm the one with the microphone. But serious... think about it... if you cross Amir Khan and Peter Kay, you get a typical Bolton Bird! haha see - I told you it was true! :)

Old Station Park

I have noticed a few websites knocking about on the net that treat Horwich's "park" like it's something out of the Lake District. The truth is it's not. In fact, you couldn't be more wrong. Check this out: http://oldstationpark.wisewrite.com/ it's worth a laugh.

The truth is, your more likely to get stabbed or trip over a needle in here. I used to play footy on the astroturf quite a bit when I was younger (and fitter!), but it was a little known fact that if you weren't out of there before the flood lights went out - you were in the shit - literally, as you'd probably end up thrown in the river!

Take a picnic next time you visit and see how long your "afternoon out" lasts before A) A large dog humps your back, B) A chav tries pinching a butty, C) you see a large dog humping a chav.

Welcome!

This is the first post on the new blog about a little Lancashire town called, Horwich.

We grew up in Horwich, and have since moved away. As far away as possible! But although we hated it when we were there. We miss it now we're not. Well a little bit. Just enough to spend 10mins setting up this blog... which brings me to the punch line:

Why bother about Horwich? - because no one else does!